The Republican leadership
reacted angrily today to claims that objective reality exists. Speaking from a
realm where unicorns have just killed Darwin, using semi-automatic pistols, the
House Republican Leader, Mr One of an interchangeable array of twats, reasserted
the party's previously stated opinion that: "NO, NO, NO!" His newly
inflatable wife stood at his side as he spoke from the steps of one of Escher's'
paintings. "If we grant that concession to the opposition then homosexual
monkeys will rape our children legally while wearing Hitler masks" He
asserted before being led away by those people who lead other people away. His ex-sister’s
wife was unavailable for comment
Reports that he was later
arrested in an airport bathroom along with a Moroccan Bond Trader and two large
rodents have been fried with a little garlic, and just the sultriest hint of
fresh basil, by the party's mother.
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